i smoked 14 cigarettes in the last hour
and i think it might be code for i miss you
i don't know why cos i saw you last night
when i squinted my eyes shut at 3 in the morning
my lamp's on but the room is still cold
window's dripping from condescension you threw me
my typewriter is right out of ink
so this letter i'm writing probably won't get to you
Tuesday 2 December 2008
Thursday 27 November 2008
knife in the toaster again
1. Ever have a near-death experience?
nothing as intense as anything that happens daily on hollyoaks.
2. Name an obvious quality you have.
i lend good books out. this is mostly a failing though as i hardly ever get them back.
3. What's the name of the song that's stuck in your head right now?
england by carter.
4. Name a celebrity you would marry:
drew barrymore about 15 years ago.
5. Has anyone ever said you look like a celebrity?
i don't think so.
6. Do you wear a watch? What kind?
i wear a casio now which has a good blue light. i used to wear a bis watch til the strap broke when i was up some stairs and i was pissed.
7. Do you have anything pierced?
just my ears. if i was cool i would have my eyebrow pierced like jay form 5. fail.
8. Do you have any tattoos?
yes i have 2. i might get my next one done if i go with chanimal when he gets his...
9. Do you like pain?
not much, even though i am pretty tuff.
10. Do you like to shop?
for books. and for fancy bits of tat in charily shops and the boot sale at the end of my road.
11. What was the last thing you paid for with cash?
my train ticket home from london i think.
12. What was the last thing you paid for with your credit card?
if i had a credit card my life would be even more bleak than it is now. but i would have more records...
13. Who was the last person you spoke to on the phone?
tora about half an hour ago.
14. What is the last text message you received?
from billy asking if i was in london.
15. What is on your desktop background?
i girl holding a billboard that says "girls are strong".
16. What is the background on your cell phone?
a really awful 80's advert for punk items founds in smash hits.
17. Do you like redheads?
being one i guess i have to right?
18. Do you know any twins?
i know one half of a twin set who lives in brighton. i used to work with some identical ones and they were fucking annoying x 2.
19. Do you have any weird relatives?
loads but i don't really see them. my immediate family are all good weird.
20. What was the last movie you watched?
i watched that joe strummer film last night. it had more reconstructions than crime watch but with grainy bits put round the edges to make it look old.
21. What was the last book you read?
i am reading lots at the minute...
hard work by polly toynbee, the autobiography of angela davis, a book on the specials, a moomins book.
22.Would you ever take someone back if they cheated on you?
probs not.
23.Anything you're giving up on?
trying to give up on being a pathetic loser and becoming a person i vaguely like.
24.What hoodie did you wear last?
probably one of lauras.
25.So do you have a favorite M&M?:
peanut butter ones. fit.
26.Was the last person you kissed cute?
yes
27.Have you ever kissed anyone with a lip ring?
yes
28.Who was the last baby you held?
my nephew on monday.
29.What are you most excited about this week?
maybe seeing ixxy and flo on saturday.
30.What were you doing at 8 am this morning?
sleepingXcore.
31.Are you someone who worries too often?
yes
32.Do you like pancakes?
yes
33.Have you told anybody you loved them today?
yes
34.Do you ever keep arguing when you know you are wrong?
yeh but i wish i didn't.
35.Who was the last person's voice you heard?
jim bobs
36.Let's test your memory, what clothes were you wearing during your last Kiss?
i was wearing lots of layers and lots of bags. don't remember what tee shirt. cords. boots. grey coat.
37.Do you crack your knuckles?
no i can't. laura does and i HATE IT.
38.Tell me about the shirt you are wearing?
melt banana tee shirt that has paint on it that didn't come off in the wash.
39.How have you felt today?
up and down.
40.Have you ever kissed someone in a vehicle?
yes
41.Are you a forgiving person?
not much.
42.Are you wearing shorts?
no
43.Do you hate the last girl you had a conversation with?
no she is one of my favouritists.
44.Last time you laughed?
earlier
45.Where will you be in an hour?
in bed probs
46.Do you think you will make a good wife/husband?
no
47.How many siblings do you have?
1 sister
48.Your favorite thing to drink on a hot summer day?
pink lemonade.
49.How has your week been?
pretty uneventful.
50.Have any plans for the week?
work tomorrow. planting trees saturday. maybe seeing f and i? going shopping sunday for xmas.
51.Someone leaves a flower and a note on your car...cute or tacky?
it would be nicer if someone left me a car.
52.When is the next time you'll hug someone?
tomorrow when i see the bubba.
53.Do you believe that everything happens for a reason?
i dont know? sometimes.
54.When people say, "honestly i've never talked shit about anyone before?" do you think it's possible?
no
55.Is there someone you'd really like to just hang out with and talk about stuff with?
millions.
56.Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?:
yes stupid.
57.Is it easy to make you cry?:
too easy.
58.What do you think people really think about you?:
i don't know. i don't want to know really.
59.Do you hear anything right now? What?:
tap. tap. tap.
60.Have you ever shot a gun?:
yes
61.What's your favorite store?:
charity shops, old record shops, book shops.
62.Do you believe in love?:
yes.
63.What is the first feature you notice on people?:
hair and eyes.
64.What's your favorite part about Thanksgiving?:
thankswhat?
65.When was the last time you cried? Why?:
yesterday. shut up.
66.What's your natural hair color?:
gingerr. with blonde bits. i think they call it strawberry blonde.
67.Who's your favorite football team?:
celtic.
68.What kind of car is your favorite?:
silver capri's and big old ones.
69.How often do you text?:
most days i guess.
70.What's one word/phrase you say way too often?:
nice bit of nice.
nothing as intense as anything that happens daily on hollyoaks.
2. Name an obvious quality you have.
i lend good books out. this is mostly a failing though as i hardly ever get them back.
3. What's the name of the song that's stuck in your head right now?
england by carter.
4. Name a celebrity you would marry:
drew barrymore about 15 years ago.
5. Has anyone ever said you look like a celebrity?
i don't think so.
6. Do you wear a watch? What kind?
i wear a casio now which has a good blue light. i used to wear a bis watch til the strap broke when i was up some stairs and i was pissed.
7. Do you have anything pierced?
just my ears. if i was cool i would have my eyebrow pierced like jay form 5. fail.
8. Do you have any tattoos?
yes i have 2. i might get my next one done if i go with chanimal when he gets his...
9. Do you like pain?
not much, even though i am pretty tuff.
10. Do you like to shop?
for books. and for fancy bits of tat in charily shops and the boot sale at the end of my road.
11. What was the last thing you paid for with cash?
my train ticket home from london i think.
12. What was the last thing you paid for with your credit card?
if i had a credit card my life would be even more bleak than it is now. but i would have more records...
13. Who was the last person you spoke to on the phone?
tora about half an hour ago.
14. What is the last text message you received?
from billy asking if i was in london.
15. What is on your desktop background?
i girl holding a billboard that says "girls are strong".
16. What is the background on your cell phone?
a really awful 80's advert for punk items founds in smash hits.
17. Do you like redheads?
being one i guess i have to right?
18. Do you know any twins?
i know one half of a twin set who lives in brighton. i used to work with some identical ones and they were fucking annoying x 2.
19. Do you have any weird relatives?
loads but i don't really see them. my immediate family are all good weird.
20. What was the last movie you watched?
i watched that joe strummer film last night. it had more reconstructions than crime watch but with grainy bits put round the edges to make it look old.
21. What was the last book you read?
i am reading lots at the minute...
hard work by polly toynbee, the autobiography of angela davis, a book on the specials, a moomins book.
22.Would you ever take someone back if they cheated on you?
probs not.
23.Anything you're giving up on?
trying to give up on being a pathetic loser and becoming a person i vaguely like.
24.What hoodie did you wear last?
probably one of lauras.
25.So do you have a favorite M&M?:
peanut butter ones. fit.
26.Was the last person you kissed cute?
yes
27.Have you ever kissed anyone with a lip ring?
yes
28.Who was the last baby you held?
my nephew on monday.
29.What are you most excited about this week?
maybe seeing ixxy and flo on saturday.
30.What were you doing at 8 am this morning?
sleepingXcore.
31.Are you someone who worries too often?
yes
32.Do you like pancakes?
yes
33.Have you told anybody you loved them today?
yes
34.Do you ever keep arguing when you know you are wrong?
yeh but i wish i didn't.
35.Who was the last person's voice you heard?
jim bobs
36.Let's test your memory, what clothes were you wearing during your last Kiss?
i was wearing lots of layers and lots of bags. don't remember what tee shirt. cords. boots. grey coat.
37.Do you crack your knuckles?
no i can't. laura does and i HATE IT.
38.Tell me about the shirt you are wearing?
melt banana tee shirt that has paint on it that didn't come off in the wash.
39.How have you felt today?
up and down.
40.Have you ever kissed someone in a vehicle?
yes
41.Are you a forgiving person?
not much.
42.Are you wearing shorts?
no
43.Do you hate the last girl you had a conversation with?
no she is one of my favouritists.
44.Last time you laughed?
earlier
45.Where will you be in an hour?
in bed probs
46.Do you think you will make a good wife/husband?
no
47.How many siblings do you have?
1 sister
48.Your favorite thing to drink on a hot summer day?
pink lemonade.
49.How has your week been?
pretty uneventful.
50.Have any plans for the week?
work tomorrow. planting trees saturday. maybe seeing f and i? going shopping sunday for xmas.
51.Someone leaves a flower and a note on your car...cute or tacky?
it would be nicer if someone left me a car.
52.When is the next time you'll hug someone?
tomorrow when i see the bubba.
53.Do you believe that everything happens for a reason?
i dont know? sometimes.
54.When people say, "honestly i've never talked shit about anyone before?" do you think it's possible?
no
55.Is there someone you'd really like to just hang out with and talk about stuff with?
millions.
56.Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?:
yes stupid.
57.Is it easy to make you cry?:
too easy.
58.What do you think people really think about you?:
i don't know. i don't want to know really.
59.Do you hear anything right now? What?:
tap. tap. tap.
60.Have you ever shot a gun?:
yes
61.What's your favorite store?:
charity shops, old record shops, book shops.
62.Do you believe in love?:
yes.
63.What is the first feature you notice on people?:
hair and eyes.
64.What's your favorite part about Thanksgiving?:
thankswhat?
65.When was the last time you cried? Why?:
yesterday. shut up.
66.What's your natural hair color?:
gingerr. with blonde bits. i think they call it strawberry blonde.
67.Who's your favorite football team?:
celtic.
68.What kind of car is your favorite?:
silver capri's and big old ones.
69.How often do you text?:
most days i guess.
70.What's one word/phrase you say way too often?:
nice bit of nice.
Thursday 13 November 2008
this week i've stayed at my sister's helping with the baby cos he's been sick.
i'm glad that i did, it's put things in perspective a lot more, last week was pretty hateful really, my birthday felt horrible and end of the worldy, and now i actually feel like things might be looking up.
today i made a list of things that i should do to make myself feel better, and i actually did some of them already. whoopXcore.
i called up rainer and organised to start doing some work for them on saturday and one day next week. i've decided that i need to stop shitting myself about how i won't cope with doing the work and just do it.
which is quite/very unlike me really.
but i guess it comes down to me knowing that i can't spend another month like the one just gone, cos if i do then i won't last that long or be that good for anything.
AND i booked a hair cut for tomorrow. buzzcuts are good for the soul.
***end***
i'm glad that i did, it's put things in perspective a lot more, last week was pretty hateful really, my birthday felt horrible and end of the worldy, and now i actually feel like things might be looking up.
today i made a list of things that i should do to make myself feel better, and i actually did some of them already. whoopXcore.
i called up rainer and organised to start doing some work for them on saturday and one day next week. i've decided that i need to stop shitting myself about how i won't cope with doing the work and just do it.
which is quite/very unlike me really.
but i guess it comes down to me knowing that i can't spend another month like the one just gone, cos if i do then i won't last that long or be that good for anything.
AND i booked a hair cut for tomorrow. buzzcuts are good for the soul.
***end***
Monday 20 October 2008
yesterday i became an auntie. i got all hyperemotional. me and chuck went to see the baby and he was the most tiny beautiful thing ever. i kept making high pitched noises and wanting to cry a bit but i didn't cos i'm tuff.
and then we drove to brighton really fast and chuck got annoyed with me cos i was stressing out. whoops.
and we went to see jamie's band play at coalition which was really nice, and went and drank with him a little bit afterwards.
my favourite thing that i heard someone say that night was from a girl in the bathroom.
"have you seen king blues play before?"
"nah, i wanted to see them play at reading but i went an saw foals instead."
amazing.
i am going to get dressed and go see tora begora and go to the punker bunker and hope that they have some nice new zines i can buy. and then hopefully get to see gareth tonight. whoosh.
and then we drove to brighton really fast and chuck got annoyed with me cos i was stressing out. whoops.
and we went to see jamie's band play at coalition which was really nice, and went and drank with him a little bit afterwards.
my favourite thing that i heard someone say that night was from a girl in the bathroom.
"have you seen king blues play before?"
"nah, i wanted to see them play at reading but i went an saw foals instead."
amazing.
i am going to get dressed and go see tora begora and go to the punker bunker and hope that they have some nice new zines i can buy. and then hopefully get to see gareth tonight. whoosh.
Thursday 16 October 2008
Wednesday 15 October 2008
so i went to work again today, like a good person, and met linda and we spoke about getting young offenders coming into the shop do some reparations. i really hope that it's gonna work out, i'm so sick of this limbo feeling, need to be proactive.
i spoke to my sister this evening and she got a job today being deputy head of the school that she works at which is amazing amazing. an not bad work for someone who is a week and a half overdue to give birth. she also told me that i'm not allowed to see her baby until my cold's gone. man she is going to be the most neurotic mother in the history of ever.
tomorrow i might get a hair cut. when the back gets longer than a centimeter i get mullet fear.
i spoke to my sister this evening and she got a job today being deputy head of the school that she works at which is amazing amazing. an not bad work for someone who is a week and a half overdue to give birth. she also told me that i'm not allowed to see her baby until my cold's gone. man she is going to be the most neurotic mother in the history of ever.
tomorrow i might get a hair cut. when the back gets longer than a centimeter i get mullet fear.
Tuesday 14 October 2008
mostly a list.
today i have been in a funny mood. i think it is because i am still feeling yukky and ill. i am not a good ill person.
things that happened today. in order.
woken up by cat scratching my face.
drink tea trying to encourage eye openage. real caffeine. wild.
tube journey. really annoying boy starts talking to me about hair dye. snore.
go to work. feel dizzy. put lots of records in alphabetical order. feel sick.
move a record display case and break the wheel off.
ali comes in to work and we talk about bad ska punk and birthday presents for tossers who don't deserve them.
get bus home. without vomitus.
omg hollyoaks.
sleep on sofa.
start writing song that might be possibly alright or possibly terrible. my head is too muggy to tell right now.
i don't know if i can write blogs any more. i get the fear about it.
i might start a new zine tomorrow. they feel safer and i don't have to leave my bedroom to do them.
things that happened today. in order.
woken up by cat scratching my face.
drink tea trying to encourage eye openage. real caffeine. wild.
tube journey. really annoying boy starts talking to me about hair dye. snore.
go to work. feel dizzy. put lots of records in alphabetical order. feel sick.
move a record display case and break the wheel off.
ali comes in to work and we talk about bad ska punk and birthday presents for tossers who don't deserve them.
get bus home. without vomitus.
omg hollyoaks.
sleep on sofa.
start writing song that might be possibly alright or possibly terrible. my head is too muggy to tell right now.
i don't know if i can write blogs any more. i get the fear about it.
i might start a new zine tomorrow. they feel safer and i don't have to leave my bedroom to do them.
Monday 13 October 2008
Friday 10 October 2008
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)